Getting old is kinda scary...

In the last 3 days I've learned that weekdays go buy way faster now than they did in my previous life. It's also made me think about kids a lot. I have a coworker going on his 4th child and another with 3, and I can barely walk my dog and get to the gym after work...let alone help another human with homework, food and baths! Christian (the hubby-to-be) has high expectations for our future family that include 3 babies. Being an hour and a half away from my mother, it really scares me to think I'll be hiring a stranger to take care of my kids....

and even worse.....

that this stranger might not even speak Spanish! :::gasp:::

It's so strange to think that my upbringing is going to be NOTHING like my kids. My mom was able to stay home, cook for us everyday, help with homework, and embarrass me to death by walking me to school until I was a Freshmen in high school. #truestory

My kids will have 2 working parents, I probably will only make dinner on the weekends, help with homework and never walk my kids to school. I don't know why that makes me so sad. The odd thing is, I love work; I love to work, I love my job, I love my paycheck.....so I would never want to be a stay at home mom. But, thinking about how close I am to my mom now, how we call each other twice a day (in college I called her 3x a day), how I learned to cook after school - AFTER washing the dishes, how I was forced to learn Spanish from imported books...it makes me sad that I will miss out on doing that with my future spawn.

Regardless, I am so very thankful for my mom....and my dad who worked his ass off for our family.

As for the rest of the list, I'm thankful for:



1. Seltzer Water - I don't understand people who don't like it. It's like soda, but not deadly! Try a lime one...or better a Wegmans Berry one!

2. In-house washer/dryer - God I'm old, I just said I'm thankful for being able to do laundry at home. Once upon a time, I swore to never to my own laundry again. And Goldman Sach's agrees. <<< read the entire list

3. Spin class - although it feels like death, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment finishing a class and not falling off the bike.

4. Google Hangout - So I can dress shop with my mom who is far away - who's been dress shopping on her own.

5. I don't live in the quiet zone West Virginia. How would I feed my social media addiction?!

6. Having overdraft protection.

7. Having a Fiance to bail me out when overdraft protection is not enough.

8. Having this list: Names that sound good in English and Spanish - no I'm not knocked up, I swear. No more baby talk.

9. Finally deciding on a date for my fabulous 30th Birthday.

10. And finally mornings that start like these with my boo:

Never did I ever....

Never did I ever, think I'd start blogging again. 

After an entirely too long of hiatus, here I am....starting this up again.

 :::waits for parade::::

It is October 1st and my 30th birthday is 23 days away. And for the last 29 years of my life, I have been so ridiculously spoiled with costume parties, pinatas, hangovers and lots of cake...this year though is it's own beast. I don't know what it is about 30, I actually thought it was going to skip me, but I do feel a slight mid-life crisis approaching.

Suddenly, I'm mourning all the things I didn't do like living abroad in Europe (at 23 I was determined to make that happen) or finishing my Master's (I've been "starting" grad school since age 22) or maybe missing my high school reunion (nah, I never actually thought I'd go to that).

Nevertheless, I realized that work stress, wedding planning stress, money stress, being fat stress could easily make 30 even more daunting. So, I've decided that for the next 23 days, I will not throw a pity party, instead I will be ridiculously thankful for all that has been my last 29 years...and maybe just maybe attempt some good deeds. So because I'm still on an endorphin high from the gym, I'll start with a list.

Day #1 - I am thankful for:

1. Netflix - which is has become my haven.
2. Dance Parties - at my new gym, to remind me how I miss my past life as a Zumba instructor.
3. My Mom - who has learned to pet Alana...a lot.
4. My Fiance, Christian - that I wonder daily if he really knows what he got himself into.
5. My dog, Alana - who is the happiest in the world when u utter the word "walk".
6. My coworker, Ivy - who is planning my wedding for me.
7. My cellphone - which is probably radiating cancer to me, but for now, I can't live without
8. Yelp - because it makes me feel like a VIP.
9. Dove Conditioner - Best smelling and softest hair product ever, especially after the gym.
10. My Dad - who taught me how to put air in a tire via phone yesterday